What my parents taught me

We’ve all got mannerisms that mimic our parents.   Sometimes they’re comforting, sometimes irritating, and most often they’re overlooked until a particular situation brings them out.  I never noticed, for instance, how much my youngest sister sounded like our mother until one day when I happened to call home and she answered.  It took a few minutes to realise that it was she and not our mother.  Most often, people tell me that I’m exactly like my father. My niece comments that it takes her a few seconds to identify which aunt is on the phone because we sound alike.  (Since she started using Skype, that’s not a problem any longer!)

When the family is together, the mannerisms aren’t noticeable. They’re part of the tapestry of the family.  It’s when I spend time with my siblings away from the whole that I notice how many times our parents are echoed.  With my younger sisters, they bring our mother to mind.  They imitate her comments, her way of doing things, her facial expressions.  With my brothers and my elder sister, they have our father’s outlook, his style of speech and movements.

Between my mother’s very practical, measured approach to life, and my father’s drive and hail-fellow-well-met outlook, we’ve picked up a few things, like:

• When shopping, ask yourself, “Do you really need that?”; “Is that the best deal?” and “Can you pay cash for it?”
• When doing groceries, make a list.  Check it over, then walk all the aisles trying to remember what you put on it (because you left it on the fridge under the magnet that says “DO THIS!”)
• Be self-reliant, but also realise that you need people.  Support the people who support you.
• Life is short.  So don’t waste it worrying about things that may never happen.  Relax, laugh, and share a meal with people you love.
• Give without expecting a return.  Don’t make it a habit to not get a return.  (If someone is just using you, walk away.)
• Life is tough, unfair and sometimes ugly.  But there’s no reason to make it so for other people.
• Sometimes you have to do what you don’t like to do in order to accomplish what you want to do.  So quit complaining and just do it.
• Be aware that your behaviour influences others.  Try to be a good influence, and not a warning.
• Save some of your paycheque every pay.  Plan for your retirement, but live in the moment.
• Family is more important than possessions, work or money.  Really close friends count as family.  Keep them close and safe.