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Another full night! By Friday, it will be almost a whole week. and I will be on track to remove a large chunk of my deficit. Plus, I think that I'll be en route to cutting out some medications and sleeping better. Should I be concerned that my back is cracking and popping when I move? That's new since after my nurse left this afternoon. I'm thinking it means that my muscles are relaxing and I'll be able to move more freely, and I stand a [small) chance of standing more erect... We must live in hope or die in despair-right?.

My tiny dictator is getting antsy about not getting long walks. In this heat (again, Trinidad is cooler) he's panting with his tongue practically dragging on the ground before we get to the end of the building. He's close to overheating after 1 lap of the block... so his walks are brief. He lets me know that he disapproves of this approach to his surveillance of his Kingdom! At night, though, he cuddles me.

We are in the "dog days" of summer; the temperature-as I've whined a few times-is HOT, humid and otherwise perfect for being at Store Bay or Maracas! Or any of the many beaches in my home country. So guess what I'm doing? That's right! Planning Christmas gifts. Who's pretending to be organized? And doin

g a credible job of it? I've identified several items that need to be pre-ordered, so if I get to work early enough I’ll probably get a better selection than if I waited for the “holiday” presales, which are almost never as good as they pretend to be.

If I can stay focussed, I have other plans. I've noticed that my attention goes wandering off in a few dozen directions at any given time. I've also noticed that I have been often drawing blanks on things I'm trying to remember. For example, I'll think of something while I'm working in an app and open my browser.- and have no idea what I wanted! I blame residual cancer treatment effects for fogging my brain. I even started keeping a pen and notebook next to my chain so if I get an idea I'll scribble it down and cross it off once I do it. But, as Burns put it, these plans "aft gang agley" and I'll forget what I was thinking anyway.

But gifts-I'm being optimistic that I'll be early enough to plan, organize,  pre-order and (where applicable) mail items so they reach their intended destinations on time. Wish me luck!

I'm wondering-and at the moment, time is on my side-if it would be preferable to plan to hand make as many gifts as I can, rather than purchasing gifts? I've had mixed reactions to my handmade gifts, ranging from those who make full use of them, to those who try & return them to me (and get struck off the gift list in future.) We'll see. I'll spend part of my next waiting room time sketching our the logistics so I'll have a clearer idea of what's practical and feasible.

You can tell that I've got a bit more energy, so my sleep is doing pretty well! Because if I'm so tired that I'm dozing off in mid-sentence, I definitely don't have any desire to plan, create or think!  And I'm still struggling with some depression, but that too is improving. My sarcasm is held at bay-admittedly with some effort! And the milk of human kindness is in short supply, especially when I see certain types of news articles, so there remains work to do. I know that I'm not perfect, nor am I as close to Enlightenment as I might want to be, but there are things that I can address to ensure that I do not either slip further away from being virtuous or, worse, cause someone else to lapse. Far worse to be the cause of another's downfall than to fail oneself. (A thought that we'll explore further in a separate post.)

Truly, I tell you, I like having energy and being rested. I'm more inclined to do things that are enjoyable and feel like a contributor to society. As compared to the past few weeks where I effectively dragged myself from my bed to my chair and struggled with my pain and depressive mood. Now I believe again that "things will get better."

Good night, all. I wish you a restful sleep and refreshing dreams. Be well!