Parenting

Yesterday we went out for lunch and shared this lovely, decadent dessert.  The original intention was to take some home for the children, but we ate all of it, and they lost out.  Not completely, because Auntie made a plum upside-down cake for dessert.  My sister is threatening to keep me here because the kids have eaten the meals I’ve prepared with no fuss.  I’m not sure that my boys would support this idea!  Don went to get his booster shot today — his fifth shot overall, and the bi-valent formulation targeted for the omicron variant.  Jerry is in disgrace, because last night Don left some chicken wings on the table, and took a nap… Jerry found a way to get on the table!! where he ate all the wings.  Don scolded him, but he was unrepentant.  Don is annoyed since it meant that he lost his supper.  

I will admit that I’m feeling tired a lot this week.  I’ve been sleeping well, thankfully, but I think that I’m doing a lot more during the day even though I don’t think that I am.  It means that on days like today, when I go shopping with my sister, I need a long rest before I can do anything else.  I am practicing self care by resting more and only doing one big thing a day.  I’d like to do more, because I see how much there is to be done with 2 small children, but I’m physically limited.

It’s at times like this that I realize that I’m a “perfect parent,” because I have no children, so all of my theories of how children should behave are all idealized.  They’re sometimes reinforced by the articles on parenting that pop up in various social media sites.  So I’ve seen, for instance, articles that talk about not creating negative images by “forcing” them to eat.  But I’ve been party to many negotiations with small children about eating.  I watched my niece insist that she was full because she wanted a slice of cake, and when urged to eat some rice, she very carefully bit a single grain in half and said “I ate the rice.”  In the past, my godson at one point would only eat macaroni and cheese with barbecue sauce.  Any attempt to get him to eat a vegetable or a piece of meat resulted in him folding his tiny arms, sealing his mouth and refusing to touch anything else.  So we would have to resort to open bribery to get him to eat.  He’s now 30 and a very healthy specimen.  I therefore am not certain that blaming parents for this is a useful tactic.  But as a non-parent, I can sit smugly and say, “Well, you should be feeding them healthy food, and you shouldn’t ever bribe them with desserts” because my putative children are perfectly behaved little robots.

Sometimes I’m more patient than the parents because I obviously have more time, am less under pressure and better rested.  Besides, in my role as aunt, I am inclined to spoil the children.  So it’s both expected and understood that I’m not the disciplinarian.  I’ll reinforce the instructions given by the parents, but I’m also going to slip in extra presents or yield to, “read one more story please” at bedtime.  It’s not my role to usurp the parents, but I’m there as support and encouragement.  And, of course, to give breaks to the parents so they can be better able to enjoy their children.  Don pointed out that grandkids are wonderful, because after you’re done spoiling them you return them to the parents and go home to your breakables-filled house!  

It’s now time for stories; it’s not bedtime yet, but a late Saturday afternoon when we’ve been colouring, rereading stories and having movies playing in the background (nobody’s actually able to watch the TV) so there’s time to read the other books.  Have a good evening all.