Tribute

Marlene Garcia 1933-2022

 

You know the rhyme about children and weekdays? It begins "Monday's child is fair of face..." Well, "Friday's child is loving and giving;" if ever there was an accurate description !

Marlene Garcia was born on Friday, May 26,1933 to Roderick & Elisher Garcia. She was their second child; the first, a boy, died within a day of his birth. She was, by all accounts, a charming, lively girl, who was a special favourite of her father's. She was the only child for 5 years, then her sister Margaret joined, then my mother Lydia 4 years after that. Six months after Lydia's birth. Roderick died. Ming was her mother's great support from then on. She told us that she would help her mother look after the little ones - her sisters and the many cousins who were often at the house.  Her father called her "Ming toy" because she was such a delight. As children, we gave her another nickname. We used to watch Abbott and Costello cartoons and called her "Abbott" because we'd call her so often. It then got shortened to "Ab" It's not as musical as "Ming" but it was given with great love.  Later, with the arrival of Sofiah, she got another.  She and Sofiah called each other Doux-doux, which, of course, we all adopted.

The girls attended St. Theresa's RC in Woodbrook, where Ming was responsible for getting them onto the trains and off to school.  There she met her friend Alicia Fraser, who remained a close friend for over 70 years. She later attended St. Joseph's Convent in St. Joseph. After finishing school, Ming did a secretarial course and secured a job at Caroni Ltd, which was where her father worked. She worked there in the office for over 30 years, and made several friends, including Baby Seeraj, whose daughter Anne-Marie is Ming’s goddaughter.  They were very close all through Baby’s life, and the families had strong ties.  After her retirement she worked for several more years with her cousin Chris at Christle Ltd as an office manager.  

Ming was a cradle Catholic who was very committed to the church, and participated in Masses, processions, the Legion of Mary, among others; a devotion that lasted all her days. Her cousins recall fondly that on Sundays, Ming and the rest of the family would attend early Mass and Ming would collect her young cousins for the later Mass before going herself for breakfast. She was a faithful and lifelong parishioner at Our Lady of Fatima, having been involved in helping with fundraising to build the church originally as a separate parish from St. Joseph when the community in Curepe and environs had grown enough. She became an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, and until the pandemic was involved with the group who looked after parish funds. For years she helped with the Harvest, both running a stall and with the money.  She had a regular seat in the 6^th row, or could be found on a Saturday evening selling the Catholic News at the back door, or on a Sunday morning before assisting with counting funds. 

How do I capture the essence of Ming? Those few facts barely touch on who she was. They tell you that she was a good, conscientious daughter, a dedicated employee and a devoted Catholic. I could go on at length and list all of her virtues-she demonstrated all of them in her everyday activities. She was kind, generous, charitable, calm, gentle, diligent, patient and prayerful. She was a model of Christianity. I could sing the praises of her cooking, her domestic talent, her caring nature, her organized mind and more. But that isn't sufficient; Ming was more than just those parts. She was a gentle, kind woman who was a pillar of strength for her family and the source of a lifetime of good memories for those around her.

Everyone who knew her described her as always having a pleasant smile and a welcoming manner. She was loving and generous to a fault. In fact, her worst failing was that she never put herself or her needs first. Her only regret in her long life was that she had never had her own children. She would have loved a houseful of children, but that wasn’t to be.  Instead, her youngest sister, my mother, had 4, and to us Auntie Ming was a mother; we’re lucky to have had more than one who showed us what it was like to have a loving family. She loved all of us, but had a special soft spot for my brother Hans. He remembers that she would always bring him a small gift every week-except once, when he was naughty.  As a child she would coordinate the dishwashing with her sisters and cousins helping as she did the difficult items.   Auntie Ming was there for every event in our lives, no matter how small. Nothing was ever planned without her.  School concert?  She would be proudly seated in the audience.  First time reading at Mass?  She was there helping with practice and calming nerves.  Bake sale?  She’d make some delicious cakes, and show up to buy so we could raise some extra funds.  Graduating from university?  She travelled for days to be there in the audience.  Family Sunday lunch, cooked by her great-niece?  She’d proudly eat the meal with great enjoyment. 

She was brave, especially if she was acting to help others. She tried new things when we took her out, and had travelled alone to Canada in the hopes of settling there, but (happily for us) it didn’t work out.  We all knew that she worked tirelessly. and always put the needs of others first. At family gatherings, we'd spend a lot of time unsuccessfully trying to get her to sit down and eat with us, instead of her staying in the kitchen! She'd get involved in helping whenever she visited anywhere-she seemed uncomfortable sitting and being attended to by anyone. She kept busy constantly, and would work in the garden in her spare time. As recently as 3 years ago-aged 86-she was climbing ladders and trimming tree branches!

We remember all of her many activities with us that were always fun. We'd accompany her to the market on a Saturday, or go to the "big" store nearby where our cousin Theresa worked. She took Hans to the barber regularly; she took us school shopping, Christmas shopping, and grocery shopping.  She looked after her older relatives, and would visit them regularly, as she didn’t drive, it meant that she relied on others who were only too happy to help. Even busy, she never got openly angry with us, but we all knew when she was upset, and we'd try our hardest to avoid that. 

As to her cooking, she was famous for several dishes. Her goddaughter Anne-Marie said that her Christmas breakfast was a piece of Auntie Ming's sweet bread and one of her pastelles. Her cakes were in high demand- they were great favourites at our birthdays. We jealously guarded her breads and bakes and anything she made was a favourite with the family. Funny enough, when she worked, her lunch was always the same-cheese sandwiches. We'd tease her about that-and ask her to make some for us.  We learned to cook standing beside her and being allowed to knead dough, or stir the pot, or lick the bowl after making cakes, although we've never been able to duplicate her bake or pastelles or buljohl or stuffing or - well, anything, really! At Christmas, she'd organize the family to make pastelles while she cooked the meat.  Sonja will miss being able to call and ask for advice on how to make many dishes.

She was a great comforter and calming influence. Sofiah recalls being carried and walked by her on sleepless nights. We've all gone to her with our problems and come away feeling better. She listened carefully and would provide advice only when asked- a very rare and valuable skill! Her loving and gentle nature made her very approachable by others. She was a reliable friend who would celebrate successes or mourn sincerely and be supportive. She would always look after her friends and family.  In fact, Sofiah describes her as “the very definition of a safe place.”

Ming showed everyone love. Her cousins all remember how she looked after the younger ones and how much fun they had. She loved spending time in Toco with her grandparents and the extended family. She often talked about how much she cherished being there. She, and her sisters. enjoyed travelling, and she would often venture on trips abroad. She and her cousin Theresa travelled to Barbados, Tobago, Aruba and Curacao, which were apparently great fun.  Auntie Ming spent many summers over the last 24 years in Canada, visiting her nieces Sonja and Helga, who often squabbled over who would get her to stay longer!  Their spouses also welcomed her with open arms and competed to spoil her.   She also travelled extensively, often going on pilgrimages with her sister Lydia. Together, they had travelled to holy sites in Mexico, Europe, Ireland and the Middle East. With their other sister Margaret, they went on tour to Bermuda, the eastern US and Canada.  She travelled with her nieces and nephews to the US, Barbados, Europe and the UK. She spent time with her cousin in Canada, the US and England or visited Venezuela and Margarita on her own. She was an enthusiastic traveller, who somehow managed to always have everything anyone needed in her bag. She'd be able to provide snacks for hungry children, napkins for cleaning sticky hands or pens for completing forms, plus manicure kits, shopping bags and candies!

She was highly organized and kept track of many details that might otherwise be overlooked. She has a large collection of family photos dating back to 1910, and she had encyclopaedic knowledge of the family going back several generations. It was always a great experience to listen to her talking about the people in the pictures. She was the heart of the family- not just for us, but for her aunts, uncles and cousins.

In all of these things. though, Auntie Ming was a private person. She was very independent and often said that she didn't want to bother anyone. She continued like this until shortly before her death. In the last weeks. she resented the way that her memory and body began to fail her. Even a few days before her last sleep, she prayed the Rosary, ending her life of devotion as she had lived it. She was tired, and ready to go to her eternal home, where we're certain she was welcomed by her parents, sisters and all who had gone before.  She was cared for at the end by her nephew Hans, niece Heidi and great-niece Sofiah, falling peacefully into sleep from which she awoke in God's loving arms.