Thoughts

Despite the flurry of TV anchors squealing enthusiastically about “Spring is here early!” Winter is not quite half over yet, and temperatures (snow and ice) all fell overnight into today, and it’s supposed to be more typical next week.  I’m not a winter sports person, so I’m unfazed by the thaw (which always happens at this time of year) and I’m not bemoaning the lack of skating on the Canal — especially since the City persists in not clearing sidewalks to a safe level of snow and ice, although the bike lanes are bone dry (and unused.)  Sorry, annual annoyance.  Jerry is in a playful mood tonight, in part because he misses my support worker and he wants his playmate.  Don is fine, and gearing up to watch more sports tonight so Jerry will start to play up at puck drop.  He seems to know when Don is watching a game and will start to play.  When I’m reading, he likes to crawl into my lap and position himself to push my book / iPad away or else hold it too close to my face… apparently no distractions from puppy cuddling are allowed at all!

Yesterday would have been my mother’s 81st birthday, and I strongly missed her.  We all lit candles in her memory in our various homes; it’s our tradition since her passing almost 8 years ago.  The aching absence does get less, but every so often she’s really missed.  I’d joked, when she was alive, that I would hear her voice when I went shopping, and asked her to please cut it out; she just smiled and said that at least she knew she’d had an effect on me.  After she left, I still had Auntie Ming, but yesterday I really felt their absence more than usual.  It did leave me considering mortality and the questions of what happens to our souls.  Oddly, I never question the existence of a soul, just what is its journey?  What happens when one life ends?  How do souls return?  Do they re-enter another body and live a new life to learn different lessons?  I do not accept that there’s nothing after death, but in the absence of any information, I just wonder.  Don’t worry, I’m neither morbid nor maudlin, nor anything of the sort.  Just wishing that I could have a conversation with some of my family who have passed on.

I’m going to make a tiny trip into a couple of political statements.  Sorry in advance!  So when my family doctor retired in 2021, I registered us with the province to find a new one.  The registration is fairly easy; either a short online form or a 3-minute phone conversation with an actual human, then I received a letter confirming my registration, followed by regular semi-annual updates (I have 3) saying that I was still registered, I should continue looking for a doctor, and I should notify them if I got one.  I had a lovely chat with the “community coordinator” shortly before last Christmas, which did not lead to any useful progress.  (She was really lovely, and we’ve chatted a couple of times since, where she’s updated me on her life changes.)  Anyway, after I got a doctor, I called her to advise, and she was very pleased for me, and closed off the file.  I have to say that the province’s role in my search was precisely nothing.  It’s a lovely idea, but I have to say that it’s nor efficient or otherwise beneficial — feel free to contradict and provide examples; I’d love to be wrong.  They do offer a list of doctors and clinics in the area, but it’s not verified nor updated — all the clinics that were identified as accepting new patients told me that they’d stopped at least 6 months earlier, and my old doctor’s office is still listed as open although it’s been closed for over a year.  I was told that the clinic would have to call to update the information, and I was treated to a display of obstructive bureaucracy that I thought had become unfashionable… silly me!  If I were managing that program, I’d have a small team of students to verify the clinics on a rolling basis so the list would never be very outdated.  I’ve also realized that it’s probably a shared database, as my insurance company shows the same listing, so perhaps it’s simply copied from a search engine?  In any event, I’d ensure that it was regularly reviewed and inactive / inaccurate listings removed.  Secondly, I’d also ensure that any new registrants for a family doctor were provided with a list of up to 5 clinics in a certain distance within a month of their being enlisted.  If they don’t follow up, that’s on them, but at least they should get some (vetted) names to start the search.  I am aware of the many problems plaguing the medical system, including insufficient graduates in family medicine, a growing population that’s also aging, new housing developments which put pressure on the system, and the non-recognition of foreign-trained medical professionals.  None of these are simple or quick to fix, and to someone out of the system, it seems that the attempts to address the problems are inadequate, underfunded and myopic.  My expertise in program management and policy is just shrieking at me that there are significant gaps that aren’t being addressed, and the money that is being spent is either insufficient or misdirected.  I mean, having a program to link patients with doctors should do more than send out notes saying “you’re still registered.”  I’m a great believer and supporter of publicly funded initiatives, like healthcare, and disagree with the mantra that the private sector is the panacea of all ills, mostly because my socialist-leaning self believes that everyone should have access to a decent level of healthcare (clean drinking water, safe food supply, education…) regardless of the size of their bank account.  So when I grouse about a public program you know that I’ve been seriously displeased.

The other minor political thing that I wanted to share was that there was a recent survey in the USA in which people, in large numbers, think that their political opponents are largely stupid, evil and “should just all die.” Sadly, that was not a survey of kindergarteners arguing over the distribution of popular toys, but apparently fully functional adults.  I’m horrified and disgusted by that result.  I may not agree with the point of view of someone, but as long as they are not actively harming me, they’re entitled to be wrong.  😁  May I recommend that you stop scrolling through articles that enrage you?  More than half of them are embellished, at least a third are outright lies, and others are deliberately slanted to generate anger.  As for the “the media is ignoring this story” click bait — it’s very likely to be untrue, and if you can’t independently verify a story, it’s probably created just to get reactions.  Don’t click on it, don’t share it, just ignore it.  I rather like my feed full of photos of cute dogs, flowers and beaches, not manufactured outrage.  

Speaking of cute dogs, I’m reminded that I’m neglecting my duties, so I’m off.  Good night!