Civic holiday

On days like this I wish that I’d got a beachfront property where I could soak for hours in the ocean!  Although to be fully honest, on a day like this, being in the water and being out of it aren’t very different!  It continues to be a sauna with very still air that just isn’t moving anywhere… no breeze, no cooling, just heat and humidity!  Worse, even the storms (like last night) didn’t do anything to break the humidity for any length of time… but there was a lovely cool breeze for a while.  Jerry is now by my feet, with his foot on mine, but he’s not very mobile; his tiny pink tongue is just hanging out when he pads over to drink water.  He’s an odd little guy who doesn’t like ice… I’m surprised by that.  Don has been also suffering from the oppressive heat and it’s hard for him to breathe.  He’s not even able to focus on his games, as it remains so uncomfortable.  I know, it will be cold in a couple of months and I’ll be griping about the ice, but meanwhile, it’s oppressive.

Yesterday was the usual worst day after chemo day.  I was so exhausted that I think I was out of bed for maybe 3 hours all day when I did eat and drank as much water as I could.  When my worker arrived yesterday, she looked at me and asked if I’d slept at all and put me back to bed.  I feel much better today, and I slept reasonably well last night also.  I’m happy to report that I have another woman worker, so that covers 4 days a week, and just leaves 3 days to be filled.  That’s so good, and it’s great that my doctors were able to resolve this.

To my darling nephews, I want to share something with you all; although you’re all mostly old enough to skim this, there may still be some points that might be useful.  I am horrified by some of the posts that I’m seeing on social media and I hope that those who are reposting are doing it as a joke, and not believing them.  The whole concept of things like “red pill” masculinity, ‘alphas,’ ‘betas,’ and ‘simps’ and the idea of ‘high body counts’ is just disgusting, wrong and highly toxic.  Relationships are based on mutual respect and open communication, not on one person controlling another.  Saying to your partner that she must not have any male friends, that she’s not to talk to other men, that her “role” is to provide a traditional marriage where she stays home and you go out is just not what we taught you.  The concept that a woman over 30 is “old and useless” that she can’t be a partner is definitely not anything that we’ve ever discussed.  If you distrust your partner, I recommend that you have a conversation and determine whether you’re compatible.  

I maintain that I will blow up on anyone who goes out of her way to hurt any of you; that you’re not the ATM for anyone, and I believe that we’ve reached a point where you know your value.  Personality outweighs looks — always has, always will — and kindness and respect are essential.  If a girl you like doesn’t like you, then walk away.  We all have different tastes; it definitely doesn’t mean that you’re ugly or undesirable, just incompatible with that person.  If she talks to other guys (in the traditional, dictionary definition of “talk”) that’s perfectly acceptable.  I’d be concerned if she hides the conversations or lies about them.  But both of you need friends of all sexes.  Just don’t prioritize your friends over your partner.

I don’t want to nag, so I’ll wind up here.  If someone sends you down one of those dreadful rabbit holes filled with hatred towards women, walk away.  And don’t fall into the trap of believing in the idea of “women’s work”  We spent a lot of time breaking that, and I know that you can all cook, look after yourselves and are wonderful, kind, loving, amazing and breathtakingly handsome (I’m not biased; I’m a very honest aunt and godmother!) so don’t let anyone try to break your confidence!  I love you all, my precious boys.  Good night!