Post-chemo

Both late yesterday and today have been beautiful sunny summer days.  Yesterday started off quite chilly — I needed to dig out a sweater!!  — but warmed up to shorts-and-sandals weather (for non-Canadians) by noon.  Jerry responds well to the change in weather, and has been bouncing happily around (and barking at the wind) while going from lap to lap to lap in cycles!  He’s also been more assertive about demanding food, and (naughty boy!) got into his snacks and finished off a bag (it was almost empty, thankfully) before I knew what was up.  He looked so proud of himself… Don is feeling better and is in less pain, thankfully.  He was moving more easily, which reduced my guilt at needing his help getting to chemo.  He’s now glued to US politics, which will only get worse and I’m already over it.  

This was me at chemo yesterday… cycle 7 done; we have another one before my next scan.  The usual request for prayers for a result of “stable” or “improved” please… getting it in early!  Night before treatment, I couldn’t sleep, and only dropped off at 6:30am, to wake at 8… I dragged all day!  Last night, after supper, I went to bed at 8, and was asleep almost immediately until 3:30am, when I was awake long enough to realize that I was awake, then I slept until 10:15!!  I was really tired.  But today I feel more like myself — another early night, but it’s not as urgent as yesterday was.  I remembered my anti-nausea pills, so that meant no side effects!  I’ve started a new medication to try to improve my appetite, so we’ll see how that goes.  I’ll be heading to visit my sister and the small people next Wednesday for 3 weeks, and I’ve spent a lot of today organizing medical details, like appointments for nursing care, getting early prescription renewals etc.   There’s some more to do on Monday, but it’s mostly done and things are in place.  Yay! 🎉 

In some very good news, my sister messaged to say that my nephew (who has celiac disease) did his most recent testing and his numbers are normal, and he’s gained weight since his last visit.  This is excellent news and it means that the vigilance shown by his parents has been beneficial, and he hasn’t needed to go to the hospital in a year!!!  When he was a baby he spent a lot of every winter in hospital with various illnesses, and he’d been to the ER so often!  But things are better and we’re so very happy.

I took part in a conference today as a patient partner on palliative care.  There were several patients and caregivers sharing their experience of getting a diagnosis of advanced cancer and their situations.  Listening to them, it’s shocking how many had blunt declarations of “your cancer in incurable, you’re going to die soon”  I felt almost guilty in saying that my oncologist delivered the news that I was incurable in such a way that I walked out of the room thinking that I still had a fighting chance for a decent life.  I’ve had such a wonderful, supportive team who help me to focus on quality of life while we battle this disease, but so many Canadians — in the same health care system as I am, but in different regions — have had such dreadful experiences.  I wish that I could clone my team and share them everywhere (I’m not willing to trade any of them, just to be clear!! And I’ll fight anyone who suggests that I move from any of them, especially my oncologist and palliative care doctor!!  Be warned!)  I know that there are gaps — witness my recent battle for support workers — but I am grateful for the care I receive.  I will also use my voice to advocate for better care as long as I can, just because everyone deserves good support.

My parish priest, a lovely man, sends out daily meditations.  Today’s I found particularly touching.  He said, only by loving well in this life, can we love well in the next.  Practice makes perfect, so may the Lord give us many people to love.  I’ll share that wish — may we have many people to love, and who love us, so we can all form stronger communities and support each other.  Good night!