Sigh…

I’m happy that we seem to be in a mild period of summer right now.  It’s not too hot, not too humid, not uncomfortable lovely blue skies with little white clouds and cooling breezes.  So nice and enjoyable, especially since overnight is about 12C which is gorgeous for sleeping with a light coverlet!  I have been a dog bed all day.  Jerry just took over my lap, stretched out on his back and stared at me while poking me with his paws whenever I wasn’t massaging him enough or if I dared to pause to take a drink or something!  He’s temporarily moved to my feet, where he’s chewing on his ball and plotting mischief.  Don was feeling a little better today, and although I thought he was napping he was listening closely to the shows I watched.  I realized this when he threw in a serious comment and not his usual jokes.  

I didn’t sleep again last night.  I dozed off around 1am, woke up at 3:30 and just couldn’t get back to sleep.  I have no idea why.  I felt tired, but just couldn’t drop off.  It’s most annoying.  Then I’d made plans to meet a friend for lunch today but they fell through, and I had the mistaken thought that I could catch up on my sleep.  But nope.  Just as I was about to doze off, the phone rang, and that shattered sleep like Lady MacBeth… although I wasn’t hallucinating daggers or blood.

It’s my nephew’s fourth birthday today.  They were out all day long, and my sister says that they’ll call me for present opening in a bit so I can participate in the excitement.  His gift arrived and they’re wrapping it (there were no gift options when I ordered it) so he can open it.  I called, but he’s too distracted by the garden to pay attention to his aunt, so we decided to just talk during present opening time.  

I had a long talk with my social worker today about the “care” service, and she’s livid.  She’s provided me with some tips on getting a satisfactory resolution, which still seems out of reach to me.  She pointed out that the system has become more adversarial than it was; in part to justify increasing privatization on the grounds that the public system can’t cope — because it’s being starved and deprived of funding and resources.  I said that I will use my voice to be be an advocate, and my volunteer role with the cancer society and the palliative care groups to push for better treatment for patients.

I would prefer to use my energy for fun things, but really, if I can help improve circulation then I think I’m obligated to do that… or maybe I’m suffering from hubris.  I hope not.  Meanwhile, I’m going to try to get some sleep… Good night.


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