Capax Infiniti

It is the day!  D-Day!  Discharge day!  I’m going to run out of exclamation points soon 😂  Last night I slept for maybe 3 hours, since my newly-installed roommate was a talker, and his assigned nurse apparently worked as an 18th-century whaling ship shouter! Between them, they destroyed any hope I had of sleep, since they would start a conversation just as I was falling asleep.  In fact, they disturbed me enough that I got out of bed and joined some of the other patients in the rec room to watch the hockey game.  (I managed to win a cup of tea in trivia 😆 and joined in some fun banter before I returned to bed as the game went into overtime.)  Any knowledge I have absorbed about hockey in the past years stands me in good use for trivia, since little Caribbean girls aren’t expected to know things like “who scored the goal?” or to justify why Orr is a better player than Gretzky. (Just accept it; I won’t get into a discussion!) I managed to photograph a little bird in the tree by my room, hiding near their nest, so here you go!  If I manage to return there for future appointments, I may sneak in another one, but the others will all be memories from my collection of pictures.  I was up, showered, dressed and packed before 7:30 (it helps(?) that my nurse woke me up at 5:30 for my 6:00 dose and told me to go back to sleep…)  Don was told to collect me before 10:00, so there was a lot of time for trying not to fall asleep while I waited for him.  He arrived and I was folded into the car at 9:45, not like I was eager to leave or anything!  Here’s a sneak photo of Don (AKA Uncle Santa Don 😆) taking us home. As you know, he doesn’t approve of photos online, but I think I can get away with this one.  Jerry was having a difficult time.  He was torn between being happy to see me, licking my face and trying to let me know that he was upset with me and turning his back on me.  So he would alternate between wriggling to kiss me and tear off my mask (mission accomplished!) and sitting with his back to me or snuggling and trying to knock my phone out of my hand.  We are happy.  It’s great to be home.

• I saw all of my doctors at least twice, because (as my niece will attest) I had questions about all kinds of things.  For the information of my friends, well-wishers, and supporters, here are the answers to a few critical ones that I know are filling you with burning curiosity:
• Lobster 🦞 dinner is approved.  Whether it happens on the B-day, or on a subsequent day, or on multiple days, it’s good to go.
• Champagne and/or wine with dinner is approved, with or without lobster 😆. Given the number of pain medications that I take, I wanted to verify the conditions for being allowed alcohol.  The pain specialist said that she knew that I would be responsible for my intake, so I’m allowed a glass with my meal, provided that I allow at least 1 hour between my medication and my drink.  
• Rest and sensible precautions need to be applied.  So I’m being trusted to not overdo things.  (There was a LOT of laughter at that!)

I was very touched that as I was leaving the orderlies came over to wish me well; in one case leaving a patient to run over to me.  They were both so marvellously supportive and cheering over the past couple of weeks, that we managed to shape a friendship.  One of them actually started work the day I was checked into TRC, so he was thrilled that I was able to leave so soon.  The other has been working there for several years, and I thought it was lovely that they wanted to sneak in a (non-Covid-approved ungloved) fist bump. My nurse, who has been a little challenging sometimes, snuck a few items into my leaving bag, and the others who were aware that I was going managed to pop in either last night or this morning to wish me well.  I was very emotional, even more when 3 people opted to draw lots for who would take me out.  So as I tried to get into my seat (made challenging by a tiny dog who was wriggling to find a seat on my lap and not allowing me space to sit.) there were a few tears pricking at my eyes.  Jerry finally sat guard on me so I couldn’t escape and he could communicate his disapproval by firmly keeping his back erect except when glaring at me when he turned around to lick me.  Precious little monster.

I thought that the last 38 days (I counted.  Yes, I know that I’m a geek) have been more rough than pleasant for the most part.  It’s not easy to have your life upended in the way that mine was, but the role played by the hospital and its staff has been phenomenal.  In some ways this counts as an extra period of Lent, and time in the desert, but I get a shorter period than the established 40 days!  I may have pushed myself to get out today, but in all seriousness the medical team would not have released me if I were not ready, no matter how determined I was.  We can talk about the mental shifts that I’ve experienced, and some of my growth or other changes, but not tonight.

We do need to be honestly thankful for the people who look after us. It’s not just about standing and applauding them during Covid.  Let’s really do what we can to protect and thank them — by getting vaccinated when the doses are available!!  I really recommend that everyone do their best to support and encourage their medical team by following their care instructions (don’t disregard their advice and follow “Dr. Google” and ignore their medications!). Once we were able to agree on my goals, things progressed quickly. Ensure that we follow real medical advice!  (No, lemons are NOT more powerful than chemotherapy.  Use a little sense and don’t circulate that sort of rubbish!)  Let’s treat these medical professionals the way we would want to treat our own families, so that we protect them!   Let’s do what we can to keep our nurses, doctors, technicians, etc., safe and let’s always work to protect them!

I’ve lost count of the number of nurses that I’ve met in the past 6 weeks.  My niece asked how many, and I estimate that there were at least 30 that I’ve met, allowing for several who worked multiple nights, plus the changes in wards.  I’m trying to come up with an appropriate “thank you” gift for them all, which will respect all the restrictions that are in place… which will take a lot of creativity!  Perhaps an assortment of popcorn?  Less allergy-prone than chocolate or nuts?    Flowers aren’t allowed (against the scent policy) or fruit?  Basket of muffins?  Donation to the research foundation?  Ideas are needed!  Many thanks for your suggestions! 

Thank you all so much for your support in the last 6 weeks.  (I can’t quite process that it’s been 6 weeks!!) The many cards, photos of flowers, animals, babies (I won’t publish your baby photos, but I really appreciate the cuteness and the love that comes with sending them to me) and your emails have all been very helpful.  I can’t communicate  that enough to you.  I’m looking forward to getting my meal deliveries from the kind people who have offered to feed me (I’ll work with you to set up a schedule.  Did I already say thanks?  Because THANK YOU!!!) Ironically, and sadly, my first non-hospitalized meal was a Wendy’s chicken sandwich which had more vegetables than my average hospital meal!!!  We’re going to have a chat about that next week!  If you agree, I’ll continue to blog for a while and go through some ideas for improving the process and looking at what I’m learning as we go along.  Tell me when I start to get repetitive or you’re bored, please.

Lots of love to you all, and I’m going to curl up with my boys tonight.  My birthday (which I think has been broadcast across the city 😂) starts soon, but tonight is a lovely, rainy night.  Lots of love to everyone.  Good night!