Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, caregivers, and everyone who acts in the role of a mother, whether you physically gave birth or not.  Look!  Lilacs!!  (Apparently these are from a year or so ago, but — Lilacs!!  I love lilacs because they smell wonderful and they’re so pretty). I have wondered for years whether I could grow lilacs on my balcony in a planter.  I know that they grow well and their root systems can become tangled and spread widely, but not having a garden, I’d love to grow them on my balcony.  If anyone knows how to do that, please share.  I absolutely love these flowers as the first sign of spring.  I was woken up again by a small, black dog who seems to have telescopic legs 🤣. He stretched out on me and was perfectly happy being cuddled.  Then when I was watching the Mass, he leapt into my lap and stretched out for more cuddles.  He briefly moved to Don, lying on his lap, and generally was a stuffed pillow… The boys were out this afternoon at the park, where Jerry had a lot of fun running around and chasing some other dogs. They just got home, and Jerry jumped on my lap as soon as they walked into the house.  The idea was to tire him out a bit to give us a rest.  I think that we were at least partially successful.  I sat on the balcony for a while and waited for the boys to come home.

Seven years ago I lost my mother abruptly to glioblastoma (brain cancer.). I wrote briefly about this in this post.  Some of the grief has reduced, but I still miss her.  I used to call my maternal grandmother “Mummy,” so strong was her influence on me.  It’s one of those things, where I can’t express my feelings in words.  I’ve been accused of being a “mother’s pet,” and charged with being unable to make my own choices unless they were approved first by one of the mommies.  I actually never saw that as an issue because they were always concerned about my wellbeing and I respected their opinions.  Growing up, I always tried to care for my elders and to ensure that they were never neglected.  In fact, when I started thinking about moving to Canada, my concern was for my aunt and grandfather — who would take care of them?  My aunt practically insisted that I should go and not spend my life worrying about them.  She said that I needed to live my life, and not surrender it to them.  With that blessing, I went through the application process and was accepted.  The rest is history.  I offered to move my parents and my aunt to Canada, but they refused.  We visited each other every year until covid, and right now I’m unhappy that I haven’t been able to visit Trinidad and my aunt and dad since 2019.  I keep hoping that will change, but so far it hasn’t.  I’d like to be there to look after my aunt who will be 89 in 2 weeks, just because she’s fairly isolated for the past few years.  It’s challenging for me, but my health is a priority and I need to respect that as my immune system is compromised.  Thankfully I can make phone calls, and from time to time, my siblings will be with her and we can make video calls.

I want to wish a happy Mother’s Day to my aunt, my sisters and to my sister-friends who have all been caregivers over the years.  May each of them be safe, healthy and protected from this plague and all other illnesses.  In today’s video call, I saw that my aunt and my sister got roses from my niece, and they are both very appreciative.  So lovely.  They were able to have lunch together, which was lovely and then watched a movie (I don’t know which one, as we ended the call before they got to choosing a show.). I hope that everyone was able to have some family time and enjoy being together.  Good night!