Travelling home

It got cold today… my lovely warm, mild autumnal vacation is ended on a cold and windy day, and we had some sleet/hail/wet misery falling from the sky when I was leaving the house.  My morning went as expected, with an invasion from the SP who did an inventory check of my jewelry (all present and accounted for; still too big to fit their little toddler arms… I’m worried what happens when they get big enough to have bracelets fit!!) and they ran their toys over the bed; luckily I’d already packed most things, so I avoided some problems.  I think they think that I’m off to see Uncle L, because Uncle Don is only on the phone!  I have received my Christmas orders from them, and I’ve warned my sister that my niece wants her very own “red lipstick, princess earrings and a Cinderella dress.”  The boys are hopefully looking forward to my return, with young Jerry probably planning to sulk while getting cuddles!!  I’ve texted Don to alert him that the menu options on the train are less than optimal (Brussels sprouts?  🤮; and beef I can’t eat!) so I may need dinner when I get home at midnight!

You’ve been reading my updates, so you know that I very much enjoyed my 6 weeks; to the point that I’ll need a few days rest to resume functioning.  I do feel tired, but the pain is far more manageable than it was even 4 months ago.  I’ve noticed that my hands are jumping again, which I’d recognized as a sign of over-exertion so rest is definitely needed!  My week in Trinidad was over the top; I really should have paced myself better, but it was my first trip back in THREE years, so it definitely would have been tiring, even without the sadness at the start.

I’m really happy that I was able to spend the month with my sister and her family.  I think that it helped process the grief better, so it was less overwhelming than it otherwise might have been.  The SP were very helpful in that regard; they required that I be present in the moment when I was dealing with them, so not too much time available for being unhappy.  I did try to change stories a bit, which went nowhere; they know the text of their favourite stories almost verbatim, and new books have to be read at least 4 times when they’re first opened, so any variation is quickly spotted.  They’ll both have fine careers as proof readers 😂 

For my other children, I’m so very happy that they made as much time as they did to see me.  I saw all of them more than once, and got all my hugs, which made me tremendously happy.  I’m so proud of them as they are maturing and developing their careers and lives in positive directions.  In some ways, I wish that I had been as settled as they are at their age.  It’s honestly delightful to see how they are growing.  It’s so funny, though, I had exactly the same conversation with each of them, independently of the others.  My advice to them all is “be yourself, enjoy life, try new things, and don’t be afraid to stretch your wings a bit.”  Without breaking any confidences, they all are at that stage where they are being faced with new potentials and they’re wavering between the comfort of the known and the attraction of the new.  I am encouraging them all to stretch out, try new things and be brave.  I told them that I will be there to support and cheerlead them as they strike out, and not to worry about mistakes or challenges; that’s why youth exists — to stretch our comfort zones and learn new things.  They looked at me sceptically but agreed to explore a bit.  I also reminded them that they are wonderful, kind, caring and are loved fully and deeply, so I hope that stuck!

The lovely train staff are coming around with dinner.  I’m having a wild mushroom pasta, with a pina colada custard dessert and cheese and fruit.  Looks delicious.  I’ll therefore wish you all a good night, and I’ll go off to eat my meal.  I’m still 3 hours away from home, but I’ve got my amusements with me, so I’ll be fine.  Sweet dreams!