Poisson d’avril

Happy April Fools’ Day!  This was one of the several memes I received today, and I decided to use it because I was amused at the idea of a perfume based on a rum.  The weather also played some jokes on the forecasters.  It snowed heavily yesterday, and I woke up this morning to ice on the balcony, which rapidly melted by noon, and it’s been overcast all day.  They’d called for a wintry mix all weekend, but it seems like the weather had different ideas.  Jerry is in a mischievous mood, and stole my socks when I was taking them off… he hasn’t done that for a long time, so I’m not certain what triggered that.  I also don’t understand why he steals mine, and never Don’s.  Don has been feeling a little sluggish today, and dozed most of the afternoon.  He’s now watching hockey, because Saturday night is hockey night, or something like that LOL

Many thanks to Lynne for a delicious sticky toffee pudding cake, which she delivered this evening.  It’s a preferred English dessert, along with a few others (plus cakes!). I’ve had a slice already, so at least I got a share… I expect a small battle over the rest of the cake, because my kitchen mouse has a sweet tooth. 😁  I’m in some trouble with a friend because I was out yesterday having that lovely high tea brunch and I didn’t mention it to them… so I’m being treated to some Jerry-style sulks!  

I began working on a purge of my old clothes.  I’ve got a number of items that I haven’t worn in a long time, plus other pieces that are now huge on me as I lost quite a bit of weight in the last year or so.  Apparently not eating and a lack of appetite cut down dramatically on one’s weight (and energy!!)  I started slowly, pulling out one drawer to get started.  There are a couple of pieces that were fairly easy to put into a “donate” bag, one that belongs in the “toss” pile, and on the rest, I’m ambivalent.  At this point, I’m seeking help and advice, really.  I know the rule about tossing/donating anything that hasn’t been worn in over a year — which includes all of my former work wear; jackets, tailored trousers, etc — and anything that’s 2 or more sizes off my current size, which effectively covers about half of the remainder.  But there are some pieces that I really like, although they no longer fit and the cost to adjust exceeds the replacement cost.  When I began thinking about that, I felt overwhelmed, closed the drawer I started with, and turned to my shoes, which started a similar sense of stress.  I have a few pairs of heels which I can no longer wear easily as they aren’t compatible with my cane, although I rather like them.  My goddaughter is in line to acquire a few pairs of funky, painted boots (she’s the only person I know who wears the same size as I do and we’ve shared shoes for years) but that will have to wait until I get back to the Caribbean.  Some of the other shoes can be easily retired, which I did, so there was a sense of accomplishment!  But… how do I sever the attachment that I have to the clothes that I don’t wear?  I look at them in my closet and think, “Oh, I could wear this if I ever…” and I decided to try on some items to see how they look.  Because of the warping of my spine, I need to wear looser clothes that don’t cling, and some of those I’d bought when I was 60+lbs heavier than I am now, so I look like I was outfitted by a tent maker.  

It should be easier than this.  I’ve purged my wardrobe in the past, multiple times, but each time was to update styles or refresh pieces that were becoming tired.  This time doesn’t feel like that, no matter how often I tell myself that I’ll go shopping after to get new items.  It’s annoying, really, and I’m upset with myself for being so equivocal.  I think a part of it is that I feel like I’m surrendering my life and my choices, as I no longer need to go out and do “real” things.  I’m home, at doctor’s appointments, occasionally shopping and very rarely socializing.  None of those really require an extensive wardrobe, or pretty shoes or accessories.  I’d often teased my mother and aunt that they lived in “uniforms” — they wore the same few items repeatedly, and it was a running joke with us.  Now, I’m turning into them.  

Your advice, my lovely friends, is required, urgently.  What can I do to help overcome this block that I’ve apparently erected to getting rid of clothes and shoes that I don’t wear, and can’t wear and haven’t worn?  Please, pretty please, with a cherry and whipped cream on top!  Or powdered sugar.  Or chocolate.  Or whatever it takes?  Before I lose another sock, I think I’d better go take it off and hide it from the small dictator… so Good night!