Saturday?

I think it’s Saturday; I’m in a bit of a fog as to where we are in the week… we didn’t make it for the day in the country, as it happens.  This morning, when I awoke at 6 (we’d have needed to leave by 7:30 if we were going) it was hazy/foggy/cloudy and distinctly cool.  I woke up Don to ask him if we were going and he gave a grunt, looked out the window and went back to sleep… so I followed his example and somehow never stirred again until 9:30!  I was stunned.  Obviously I was more tired than I realized.  Even Jerry let me sleep in, which is surprising in itself.  He made up for it by chasing his toy around and bringing it for me to throw to him then climbing on my lap, pushing my iPad and then my crochet off and getting some sleep.  Don slept for a large chunk of the day, so he clearly wasn’t feeling much like himself.  He’s up now, watching a sport, after I made him watch Easter Parade and some (unknown) other Fred Astaire movie on the classic movie channel.

I had the most bizarre craving for Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese today; when I mentioned that to Don, he said he had the same.  Neither of us went out in search of it because we’d stopped buying it years ago — the taste isn’t what it used to be, and we realized that we didn’t like it.  So weird, right?   Then I thought, OK, I’ll make some from scratch, but it didn’t quite work as planned… the cheese refused to melt, so the sauce happily clumped around each (small) chunk of cheese and separated itself from the pasta.  It tasted fine, just looks unappealing and I’m glad I didn’t make much!  At least, though, it’s good and filling and I was able to eat a plateful easily.

I learnt a couple of days ago that someone I knew has passed away from complications of leukaemia and prostate cancer.  I hadn’t seen him in years, and I can’t say that we were particularly close although we were friendly when we met.  He wasn’t much older than I am, either.  It gave me pause, I tell you.  Anytime I hear of someone who’s died because of a cancer, I have to take a moment to process it and remind myself that their experience isn’t mine.  This one had me wondering how many people, if any, would attend my funeral/memorial service.  I’ve largely disappeared from the social scene in the last few years, and my set of friends, while fairly constant, is smaller than it was pre-pandemic.  Without being self-pitying, I know that “out of sight, out of mind,” is far more accurate an idiom than “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”  I’m not angry or upset, just trying to be realistic.  Life goes on, I know, and someone who’s been ill for a long time is a much lower priority than everyday existence.  I know that I’m partially to blame, as I don’t make extensive requests for people to spend time with me, and perhaps in my care to avoid crowds I’ve inadvertently pushed people away or they think that I’m unable or unwilling to join in events, and since I am somewhat limited in my mobility, I might be a “drag” on activities.  I don’t know, and maybe I’m just being melodramatic.  That all being said, I am thankful for the people who do check in on me, and who suggest activities — I do accept most invitations (although I’ll be honest and say that coordinating schedules is a VERY complicated affair!)   Now that I’m done feeling sorry for myself, thanks again to all of you who reach out to share your news and your lives with me.  I’m always interested in what’s happening, I’m delighted to celebrate the happy times and I’ll do my best to be supportive in the more challenging times.

The dress continues to not be completed although it’s growing closer to the finished length.  I’m feeling a small sense of rising panic that it won’t be ready by the time I get to my niece this week, and worse, my nephew’s item isn’t even started yet!  According to my latest measurements, I need to complete another 20 rounds, and it takes me approximately an hour to do one, so it definitely will not be done tomorrow! 🫨  My nephew’s item is smaller, but I’ll still need a few days… most stressful.  I’ll take a few deep breaths, continue working on the dress, pack the material for my nephew’s and work on it at my sister’s place.  Pity, because it would have been nicer to have them both ready at the same time and then I could work on my other pet project myself at my leisure.  I’m also debating whether it’s worth it to buy a yarn winder, as I have a few balls that need to be rewound and they would be nightmarish to do by hand.  The winders, though, are not cheap, nor are they necessarily easy to store, so I’m doing a  cost-benefit analysis of getting one (even second hand they aren’t cheap)  My policy wonk friends will probably be applauding my analysis (they really like those things!) so I’ll give them some material to use to tease me a little 😉

That’s it for tonight.  Jerry has temporarily paused in chasing his toy, and is contemplating shredding his old blanket and staring at me in between.  Don is glued to his game, and just finished his dinner, so we’re all good.  Hope you enjoy your weekend!  Good night