Walkies

The little dictator got taken for a walk this afternoon by me.  I’m trying to follow my physiotherapist’s instructions to walk a little more, and I’m trying to do it without my cane.  Today was a record as I managed to walk completely around my block unassisted!  It wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t something unusual… Jerry, who was super excited about getting out, pulled so hard that he jerked the leash out of my hand and RAN along the sidewalk!  I had some difficulties catching him (he refused to come when called!  So we had a discussion about his obedience) but when I did catch him, he turned around and LAUGHED!!  He settled down after that, and stayed at my side.  I’m sitting and resting because that jerk has caused some pain to my back and shoulder, so that will most probably interfere with his being able to go on an outing tomorrow!  Fingers crossed that it improves tonight, so I don’t have to report it to the nurse.  Don continues to feel under the weather, and in pain, but he’s up watching <sport> of some sort, so I hope he feels more like himself.

I’d like to thank everyone who has complimented my baldness, and a special shout out to the brothers who commented that we share a hairstyle.  I’m still not completely comfortable with it, but I’m not freaking out too badly.  It’s slowly (too slowly, I think!) growing in — I can feel the stubble when I pass my hand over my head — and there are some baby soft hairs as well that are a little longer than the prickly stubble! I’ve had to remind myself that it’s been just over a month, and to give it time.  I’d prefer at least SOME hair, so I’m not referred to as “Sir” by strangers.  I’ve never been a fan of being mis-gendered although I’m never rude about it.  (I will be sarcastic if I have to repeat myself; like having to repeat the pronunciation of my name more than twice to the same person.  One former colleague will attest to my temper when he not only mispronounced my name but then said “Yeah, whatever,” when he was corrected.)  But to the people who had kind things to say about my lack of hair, I appreciate you.  You helped reduce one area of stress for me so that I don’t feel like hiding until it regrows!  

I found a lovely reminder (and then lost it because I accidentally navigated away and could’t remember whose account posted it on FB!) which illustrated the difference between toxic positivity and supportive optimism.  The former is when people say things like, “You just have to be positive.” Or “Smile.  Other people have it worse then you.”  Those expressions make the recipient feel like it’s their fault for feeling badly, and they should learn to cope without “bothering” others.  In reality, everyone has days when they feel trapped in dark places, and they can’t just smile their way out of it, and they shouldn’t be forced to, either!  Supportive optimism instead says, “I’m sorry that things are so hard.  Would you like a tissue, or a hug or some chocolate?” Or “Thank you for sharing with me.  I’ll be here to help you through this.” See the difference?  Acknowledge the feelings, and then offer a suggested solution.  The possible solution could be as simple as offering to listen, or to make a cup of tea, or — as you guys are brilliant at doing — sending pictures of flowers, puppies and children.  The hard days don’t need any help to get worse.  But carefully offered assistance (I hesitate to say “sympathy” because it can be a loaded word) can be just what’s needed to get out of a funk.

I’m done for now… and no soapbox, either!  I’ll do my best to stay off the soapbox this week, so I’ll probably avoid the news for a couple of days!  😂  It’s beyond depressing what’s featured in the news, and worse, if I happen to slip into the rabbit hole that is comments on social media…. While the comments can provide comedic fodder (like the person who said, “I smoke over a pack a day, but I am vegetarian and I only eat organic foods,”) they are also a source of a considerable amount of misinformation, anger, prejudice and all the deadly sins rolled together.  So to maintain my calm and equilibrium, I’ll just avoid that mess!  Good night to all, and sweet dreams.