Old year

Isn't it amazing that every year, like magic, on Dec 31 at midnight, a whole new year arrives?  It just appears! That was a throwaway remark in a comedy years ago which stuck with me. Today is, of course, Old Year's Day, when we bid farewell to one year and prepare to greet the new. It's a day when Don is glued to hockey on TV-there are seemingly unending games all afternoon, evening and night. Jerry, little darling, is alternating between cuddling up and dancing to block Don's view of the TV. He seems to know when the game is more exciting and opts to interrupt then! (No, I didn't teach him that! Of course I wouldn't weaponize the puppy) 🤪

Do you make resolutions? It seems to be a fading practice. Many people to whom I've spoken say that they don't keep them, so there's no point. Plus, they say, why wait for January? They do have a point, I admit. The majority of resolutions are things like, "lose weight, go to the gym," or "manage my finances better." or "find a new job." All good goals; but too generic and then too frustrating. For the last few years, my intentions- not resolutions, because... well, you'll see-have been to express more gratitude; to be intentionally kind instead of unconsciously indifferent and to live my faith. These are year round efforts, and I'm not always successful, but since I chose them, I just try again. The biggest challenge is living my faith, really- let me explain. Growing up, my grandmother had a routine where she prayed every night after her chores were done My approach to prayer, therefore, was similar-I'd create a time for myself, sometimes in the middle of chaos, to pray. I do it while I crochet, or cook, or when the TV is on and I'm not watching… among other, quiet, times. And it is a private time. I often wonder if I'm "doing it right" because my mind can wander, my thoughts crash over each other, so when I'm trying to clear my mind or "visualize a flower" or "surrender your will" I'm instead swimming through a rush of unregulated thoughts. It helps, somewhat, to repeat short, set prayers, but even those... Therefore I wonder if I'm just paying lip service-what lots of groups accuse Catholics of doing. Then I'll see prayers worded like, "God, I love you with all the fibre of my being and I burn for you..." I'll admit that I don't "burn" for anything. I'm also not certain that I'd be honest in saying that "every fibre" of my being loves God, which suggests an all-encompassing sensation that I don't feel. I do feel a sense of calm, of reassurance, of tranquility. I seek it out when life feels chaotic and uncertain, and I gain strength. But when I join in a group, they go on about ecstasy and heights- and I'm not drawn to return. Perhaps my challenge is less about living my faith and more about not trying to meet someone's expectations?  I’ve had people question my sincerity because I don’t pray like they do, so sometimes I challenge my own motives  I don’t stop anyone from praying in their own way, and I gratefully accept any and all prayers, so maybe that’s enough?  I don’t know for sure, and I will continue to pray.  We can discuss the balance between prayer and action another time; it’s also a challenging question for me.

Anyway, as 2023 approaches, I wish you the freedom to be yourselves. May you always be surrounded by love, laughter, friends and family, and find your own way to worship- either peace and tranquility or fire and energy! I wish you good health, enough wealth for your needs and joy in your existence. Happy New Year to you all!