Saturday

I got this photo sent from Trinidad; it’s the work of my niece who is in charge of some of the lights at the house.  I like it; and I do miss them, so I’m using this today.  It’s a warmer day than it has been for a while, although it’s also wet, windy and wild.  I was able to go out in a light coat, although I didn’t stay out for a long time… the wet seemed to soak in.  Jerry had a lovely time exploring everything, and is now curled up with Don “watching” TV… 

I’ve done some of my Christmas shopping, and gifts for my niece and nephew are being delivered tomorrow.  It’s a cruel trick, I know, to send presents (already wrapped) 3 weeks ahead of when they can be opened, but… and in my role of “fairy godmother” I may include a couple more small surprises for the SP.  No, I’m not joining them for Christmas, but I’m thinking that I’ll visit in January, and probably include a flight home in there somewhere.  That, of course, assumes that I won’t have any treatments this winter (or spring, or summer…) We will pray, and live in hope.

I’m thinking about decorating for Christmas, and the cooking and all the other preparations that go with the season.  For just the 2 of us (ok, 3) there’s no real need to make a huge fuss, and preparing the traditional feast for us is really overkill.  Instead, I will identify some dishes that I really want to have and focus on those.  Realism is not my friend, because I have more ideas than capacity.  Remember I told my dad that I have to make my own if I want as there aren’t any Trinis around to cook for me?  Well, it sank in that if I wanted to try the recipes that I have listed that I’ll be in the kitchen for weeks and there will be food to feed a small country.  In my planning phase (because I’m good at that and I project manage these things) I opened my freezer and pantry to start my shopping list, and I was overwhelmed by a feeling of wanting to toss everything and start from scratch!  I’m not completely crazy, but there are some items that have been there for several years. Those really should be tossed out or eaten, freezer burn and all, and it’s just against my nature to throw out food.  It’s a conversation that I had with my mother a few times.  After a meal, she would carefully store all the leftovers into plastic containers and place them in the fridge.  Many times, there wouldn’t be enough for a serving, and they’d sit there for a couple of weeks then get thrown out.  She, like almost every breathing woman, was concerned about her weight, so she would carefully size her portion and would put aside 1 shrimp for later rather than eat it and blow her portion size.  I’d often said, “why not just eat that one spoonful and empty the dish?” Her response was always that it would be greedy to do that.  So there would be a stack of small containers that combined wouldn’t be enough for a meal, until they turned fuzzy.  I have a similar behaviour, except that I tend to freeze my leftovers and I will deliberately freeze food.  Then I’ll clean out the freezer and find that there’s a lot that’s been sitting for a long time and will be freezer burnt.

Anyway, I was ready to pull out the bin and toss a lot of food, but then stopped myself because I really don’t like the idea of wasting food.  I did throw out a couple of ziplock bags whose contents were a solid block of greyish ice so I couldn’t identify what it was.  There were also a couple of items in the cupboard with expiry dates in the past — the worst was one that had an expiry date of 2014.  I know that I’m not the only person who has expired food in the pantry or freezer, but it’s so disgraceful to have moved stuff from the grocery to my cupboard and stored it for absolute years.  Now you know what I’ll be doing for the better part of this week… cleaning out all the expired stuff in the pantry!  My fridge is actually clear of this sin, mostly because it’s reserved for items that are being actively consumed.  Having said that, I’ll probably open it and find a petrified block of cream cheese or a bacterial civilization growing at the base of a bottle!   I’ll be good, and thorough, and clean out the cupboard and freezer before I go shopping (planned for Wednesday, as my support worker will be here and she’ll help me put things away) Then my shopping will be for new items that I hope will not age disgracefully in closed jars!

Now that I’ve admitted my secret shame of having ancient items in my cupboards, I’m going to play with a little dog and feel better about myself.  The tiny dictator is awesome for improving my level of gratitude for the world, because he’s so affectionate and cuddly and always ready to have his tummy petted, which makes him happy, and in turn, makes me content.  I wish you a good weekend, preferably with a warm, furry companion to pet.  Then I’m going to get hugs, because they’re also great for improving your mood. Good night!