Doctor

This morning was my appointment at the hospital. That meant an early start to the day, made more challenging by us both having broken nights. In my case, it was (partially) fuelled by anxiety over my appointment. Don, I think, had trouble getting comfortable partly due to Jerry managing to take up an astonishing amount of space; for a small dog he certainly requires loads of room! Jerry enjoyed going for the ride to the hospital, but was disappointed that he couldn't run around as the snow banks are still huge. Ah, life north of the 45th parallel! There's weather that doesn't exist nearer the Equator! Jerry is now napping on a blanket near my feet while Don is watching-surprisingly- hockey!

My sessions with the radiation oncologist are always interesting, mainly because they are all in French. I've learnt many medical terms in French, and I can explain my situation, discuss points and make decisions all in that language. Don doesn't come to those sessions as he's unilingual English, and - let's be brutally honest -the doctor's accent is challenging. So when we first met almost a decade ago, I realized that French would be our language of communication. Here we are now, where our entire discussion doesn't have any English! We talked about the latest scan results, compared them against previous scans and discussed risks and potential options. In summary, we' re going ahead with treatment - Radiation Therapy Session #9 - and I'm waiting on dates for appointments to settle that. I asked what's the prize for being a preferred and frequent radiation client, but got no answer. Sigh.

When I got there for my appointment, the receptionist greeted me by name without asking. He's always been so cheerful and polite-and I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't remember his name. We chatted for a bit and he recommended some doctors that I could try to get to sign up with. So kind! At this point, I need your opinions, please. When, 11 years ago, my cancer was diagnosed (in Trinidad by Dr. Akal, who is always awesome!) I was a patient with the doctors at a clinic here. The clinic is part of a "chain" and they claim that if you're registered with them you've got access to all their resources. Good, as they're all connected; bad, as you often don't ever see the same doctor twice. Anyway, while I was a patient there, they missed the almost-30lb tumour that was wrapped around my kidney. It took Dr.Akal 3 minutes to diagnose a problem from the same set of symptoms I'd reported at that clinic several times over months before. When I returned from Trinidad - minus the tumour and my kidney -  and went back to the clinic, their response was, "Oops!" followed by telling me that I was unreasonable to be upset at their failure. I left them shortly after being referred to the Cancer Centre, meeting my wonderful team, and moved to my doctor who retired in 2021. I have no confidence in that clinic, but it seems that they're the only doctors in Ottawa accepting new patients. So my question is - do I swallow my anger and distrust and sign up with them for a family doctor, or keep searching? I really would love your thoughts.

I know that it's early, but my jaw will snap off with these yawns. So I'm off to get sleep. Good night!