Party!

I was out last night, having an absolute blast.  My intention, as with all of them, was that I would go and celebrate with a friend, spend a few hours and be back home early.  But things don’t run on a timetable, and I was having fun, so suddenly my back was sending flares, my stomach went into spasms, and it was almost midnight.  Cinderella and I were twins leaving the ball 😂  Jerry was not at all pleased with my departure, and ignored my return,  but raced me to bed and slept on my tummy.  (He slept; I was in pain and didn’t) and today he’s been within a few inches of me all day.  Don tracked me over and back, because he was a bit concerned about the roads, but he wasn’t going with me.  He knew when I got back to the garage, and had a cup of tea ready for me when I got in.  I had a very slow day, not least because I was so full from dinner that I didn’t eat until late afternoon.  It being a football day, I really didn’t have to focus on anything.  Got to love restful Sundays.

I love hosting dinners for friends, or at least, I used to.  As fun as it is to share a meal with others, it’s sometimes challenging, as people have dietary restrictions.  For myself, it’s that I can’t eat beef or beef products as it makes me ill.  My cousin is lactose intolerant.  My nephew can’t have dairy.  One friend has celiac disease.  My brother, and a close friend, both are allergic to shellfish.  And so on.  These are people with issues around eating, not because they want to be difficult (that’s another topic!) but just to protect their health.  In order to manage my eating, I’ve learnt to say, “I’m allergic to beef, which dishes do not have any?” in about 7 languages, and order the chicken, although I may not always understand the responses!  In honesty, while I do scrutinize labels for beef, I’m probably not as vigilant about it as another friend, who will identify if a dish passed within a metre of a shred of beef (I exaggerate, but not by much!  She’s really hyper aware, and monitors labels very closely.)  In any case, I haven’t eaten beef since I was about 16, when we first diagnosed the problem.  I’m the only person in my family with this restriction, which made some meals challenging.  Beef isn’t a frequent protein for us, but when it is, I will eat other things.  Initially, I was shy about mentioning it, and would rather avoid any home gathering in preference for a restaurant where I could order for myself.  Then I got up the courage to say to potential hosts that I couldn’t eat beef — sadly, after accepting an invitation where the host had done roast beef, with the potatoes cooked in the pan, leaving me to eat a bread roll.  If I’d said something, it would have saved us all a lot of embarrassment.  In the years that I’ve been avoiding beef, I’ve had people ask me if I’ve ever tried it, whether I can’t just “take something” or suggest that I’m just trying to be difficult, and should not call attention to myself.  People can be insensitive, can’t they?  Anyway, none of the people that I know with food allergies want to be sharing information and asking for accommodations.  They, we, tend to avoid things like grocery samples, or buying from street vendors and limit our participation in pot lucks for wide groups.  I don’t ask, or expect, people to avoid beef because I’m there. In fact, Don eats and buys beef from time to time.  I don’t cook it, but I will buy for him, because he likes it.  To answer another question, I have sometimes tried beef, but the reaction is still there, so I don’t make it a habit.  It’s been years since last I did, and I still remember the reaction, so I won’t do it again!  No, I can’t “put the gravy on” other dishes, nor can I “scrape it off.”  If it was cooked with the beef, I can’t eat it.

I mention this because I know how challenging it is to be able to cater for a wide range of tastes and requirements.  On the occasions where I’m arranging dinner or potlucks for friends, I (and my friends) try to ensure that there are options that everyone can enjoy.  It’s a good, respectful thing to do, to be inclusive and caring of others.  We all appreciate it when we’re welcomed, so it’s only reasonable to extend that to others in our circle.  That being said, I would request that people not take advantage of others’ kindnesses, and present all kinds of imaginary restrictions which are conveniently overlooked, or they throw major tantrums.  I remember one dinner at a restaurant where someone at the nearby table listed off foods they had to avoid, including green peppers, garlic, steak, etc, then proceeded to order pepper beef (listed on the menu as beef, cooked with green peppers, garlic, ginger and “other spices”) Or the person who said that they were dairy intolerant, but then ordered a milkshake with extra whipped cream… they become the butt of jokes, leading people to be suspicious of anyone with a dietary restriction.  Please don’t.  If you’re going to avoid a food, please don’t make things harder for others.  

I do rather miss being able to eat large meals, but I do still enjoy food.  It’s silly that my 2-year-old nephew can eat more than I can, but at least I can taste the food — I’ve had periods where my tastebuds just packed up and moved.  My dietician is coming tomorrow to visit and provide guidance, as I’ve lost more weight in the last few weeks.  We’ll work on that again… I need some extra weight.  At the moment, I’m about to become a dog bed… Good night!