Momma

Here’s one of the last photos of me with my tiny mom; we were on holiday in Tobago; I’d gone to Trinidad after surgery and my mother, aunt and I went for a little R&R.  It’s amazing to see how much I’ve changed in the past 9 years.  Back then, I didn’t think that I’d have to face everything I’ve been through in the interim; innocence really is bliss!  Plus I really miss my mom. Today’s weather was sunny and warm, which is just great.  I needed today to recover from yesterday’s outing with the small dog, as I’m a bit sore from the walk and my hip is twinging.  Jerry is grumbling about things like how he’s neglected and unloved and generally an abandoned puppy.  My support worker was here, and he jumped (remember how his leg hurts and he can’t jump?) from my lap straight into her arms to complain about how he was neglected… Don went downstairs to sell some tyres, leaving Jerry with me.  He’s sitting behind the door howling right now…Hopefully it all goes well and the tyres get sold.  Otherwise, today was a quiet Sunday, which is always a good thing.  The tulip festival is underway, and the tulips are in full bloom (70%, according to the official website)

I spent some time talking with my father, and he’s in good shape, thank God.  He was also in a very chatty mood, having had a good lunch and an afternoon nap — I got him after he’d woken up but before his tea, so my timing was good.  My niece and I had a chat too; she’s in the middle of her final exams, and will be graduating high school in about a month’s time!  We were talking about it, and she’s both excited and nervous about this stage, where she’s finishing school and preparing for university in September.  I’m now thinking of graduation gifts, which I really should have done a while ago but I didn’t.

So as I mentioned, I’d taken Jerry out for a short walk yesterday.  I did that without using any walking aids — my cane stayed at home — and I listened to my body because I needed to identify the halfway point in the walk.  Earlier in the week, I made a trip to Costco, and again I left my cane at home, and I finished faster than expected because I recognized that I was running out of energy and would be in severe pain if I pushed on.  I can do that, but that would then require that I deal with the pain, which can last days.  More than one person pointed out that I can get the scooter at Costco to drive around, or that I could use my walker when I’m out with the little dog.  You guys should know that I won’t.  I’m independent and self-reliant (= “very stubborn”) and I don’t want to look like I’m old and infirm.  I’ll keep working to ensure that I’m only using a cane, and not moving to a walker or *shudder* scooter.  My only concession is for a wheelchair when I am going through airports or train stations; I’d avoid those too if I could walk the terminals, but that would leave me collapsed and in pain, so I give in to that.  

So the tyres were picked up, Don is taking a minute to recover his breath and Jerry is still whimpering that he’s abandoned… I’m going to take my meds and have supper so I can take my chemo drug on time.  Jerry sounds so sad, although Don is just in the garage.  I’m off for now, good night!