spem gregis

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Gloria, gloria! The courts have handed down an injunction banning all horns for at least 10 days. I'm super relieved! It was quiet today, and I got some sleep last night, and I hope to feel better. That's some great news. My good friend dropped off a bag of Cheetos for me, and I enjoyed some of it.- but he then gave me a long lecture on needing to eat actual food and not just Cheetos. I managed a bowl of rice and chicken-and-bok choi stir fry as lunch. My nurse commented that I've lost weight in the 3 weeks that he's been attending to me. We did a quick weigh-in (I've always hated those!) and I've lost about 10 lbs in 2 weeks. There was a time when I struggled to lose even 2 lbs in that time, and I would have been thrilled to drop some weight. These days, I need to maintain a weight, so losing isn't what the doctor ordered! I'm not convinced that he'd order a dog lying on my lap for a prolonged period, but that's what happens. C 'est la vie... Don is moving his arm a bit more easily, although I think it still hurts. All I'll say is that his stubbornness is for him to deal with, not me!

It's dreadful, but also very real. Every cancer patient has a moment of worry that it's returned. It pops up for no reason, and you can't shake the fear until you do a test and get the results. Even then, there's a lingering fear that the test is wrong (or worse, if it returns with the dreaded result, "inconclusive.") Logically, you know that you're probably fine; there's nothing of concern, but still... Logic doesn't necessarily work in the midst of a panic flare. I had one of those recently, where I freaked out, thinking that I had a new occurrence. That may have added to my issues lately... but it's just a panic flare. Plus, losing weight as quickly as I did means that my bones are more prominent, which I realized today. (And had the nurse check!) I'll have to remind myself to be sensible and not panic.

That's it for tonight. I'm off to an early sleep in the delightful, horn- free quiet! I hope that I have more energy (and a better appetite) tomorrow and the rest of the week. Good night!.


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