magister dixit

My back is better today, thankfully.  I get very frustrated when the pain keeps me awake and uncomfortable.  I was able to get out for a short walk and met a friend for tea (that was my St. Patrick’s Day drink!!) both of which were great and helped distract me from the pain.  I wonder which factor helped the most?  Seeing my friend, getting out or escaping the tiny monster?  (Don’t tell him I said that!!!  He spent most of the today on my lap letting me know that I was in deep deep trouble for going out without my guide!!). Don was bribed with a really good piece of chocolate cake to distract the puppy, so he’s implicated!  😂 

I’ve learned, perhaps later in life, that I should guard my tongue when I have something that may be hurtful to say.  It was hammered home to me yesterday, when I said something that I really should have kept in, no matter my annoyance.  Apologizing is inadequate in this situation, and I’ll have to work out an appropriate penance.  I know that I will be forgiven for saying it, but still… I’ll have to work on that.

I had been wondering why do we encourage people to spend so much time “improving” themselves, which all too often leads to misery, as opposed to happiness.  Some years ago, I attended a women’s retreat where they handed out a 100-question form which was supposed to encourage people to “examine themselves” to improve.  The speaker admitted that there was no way that anyone could do that, and it was supposed to “drive improvement.”  I think that it’s more likely to cause stress and unhappiness as people (especially type A’s) pushed to attain the impossible.  I’m more inclined to go with the ideas of be gentle with yourself; love yourself; accept yourself as you are, unless people tell you that you’re a horrible human being, or — like I did — you realize that you did something wrong.  For the most part, though, that multi-billion dollar industry of self-improvement is just vanity disguised as self-evaluation.  I think that part of it is us making sense of the world after we’ve been told that if we do or say certain things then we’ll have success, and we find that we don’t.  It’s one of those moments where we need to learn that that the world is a little more complicated than we thought.  I mean, learning that we won’t fall in love instantly with the first person we encounter is a necessary lesson, but it doesn’t mean that we need to change ourselves dramatically.  Right?

I’m going to get off my soapbox now.  I know that I’m not perfect, but I hope that I’m not cruel and unkind.  I rely on my friends to point out when I stray from the “straight and narrow” and I hope that I’m humble enough to accept the necessary criticism to adjust my behaviour.  Apart from that, I hope that I’m enough of a joy and a delight to be around that people will love being around me.  I’m off to sleep, as the more rest I get, the better my back feels.  Good night my lovely people!