Yesterday, March 4, marks 2 important anniversaries for me. The first is the 29th anniversary of the death of my grandmother, Elisher Jones-Garcia-Romain. She was a pillar of my life. I spent much of my childhood and teenage years with her, absorbing her ethos while breathing. She was short — under 4’ tall — but was a force of nature. She raised my mother and aunts as a young widow, as my grandfather died aged 39 from complications from lupus, although at the time nobody really knew what that was. That was in an era when women didn’t work outside of the home, and they were not rich, so she was left a widow with 3 children under 10 — my mother was just 6 months old then. She had an elementary school education — that was considered sufficient for girls — and 3 months salary from my grandfather’s job. Extremely difficult. But my mother and aunts all finished high school, found decent jobs (my mother worked for a bank all her career, finishing as HR manager; my aunt managed the office for a large company, and my other aunt, who died young from the same disease that took her father, worked as a bookkeeper). Granny remarried, but had no more children until we arrived. My understanding of what it means to be a woman came from her. She conveyed the importance of having control of your own money, even if you’re in a relationship. Education was essential to her, so she sacrificed to educate her 3 girls. Having faced discrimination in her life, she taught the value of tolerance, acceptance and charity. So many things that I’ve absorbed from her, and I am also thrilled to hear so many people pour out their love and appreciation for her life. The other anniversary is the 25th for the death of my friend Anne-Marie, the mother of my 3 godchildren. She died very young, just 35, from liver failure. I’ve spoken about her before, so I won’t go into too much detail. It’s significant to me that they both died on the same day, 4 years apart, and that I was with them as they passed on. I love them both and I learned so much from them.
Jerry has been a furry barnacle today. He’s been Uber protective today, and I don’t understand why. But he’s stretched out on the floor next to my chair, waiting for me to move so he can jump on my lap. Don is doing well, and has been planning what he’s going to cook next because today I suddenly was very hungry Helga sent me a shawarma 😊 so he needs to plan what I’ll be offered to eat.
My niece and I spoke for 2 hours tonight on the subject of marriage. Her confirmation group was talking about that today, and she “had questions” 😬 Which she did! It was an interesting discussion. In some ways I may have contradicted the teachers, but we covered all of her immediate thoughts. Don got involved in the discussion also, mostly to support my points but mainly to provide a male perspective. At the end of it she said that she had a lot to digest but she was more comfortable then at the end of her class. I just want her to know that she has a safe place to seek answers — as do the other kids who ask me questions!
I’m off to bed now. I’m really tired. Until tomorrow then… Good night 😴
Comments
Post a Comment