A posse ad esse

 Today was very painful. I'd like to blame it on all kinds of things, but honesty demands that I admit to having over-exerted myself. I wanted to do several things, and I didn't wait for help but went ahead and tackled them myself. I'm paying for that. I feel the aches along my back that are overwhelming the pain meds, so I will go to bed early and get the rest that my body is demanding..

Thanks again for the several flower photos there-I got today. I'm really enjoying seeing them, even as I acknowledge that I'm going to miss most of the summer blooms this year. And another thank you to my high school friend who sent me pictures and video of her 2-year- old granddaughter! dancing. She's a beautiful baby, but it's odd to realize that we're now of the age where some of us can be grandmothers!

Age just sort of sneaks up on us, doesn't it? I mean, one day we're arrogant know-it-alls of 15 & 16, ready to conquer the world, invincible and immortal, then we’re in our 20's, then 30's and now- 50 is in the rear-view mirror and receding... and we're planning retirements instead of promotions! Another school friend called me today to chat about nothing in particular (isn't that lovely?) and mentioned that she's submitting her paperwork for retirement after 34 years. That was another moment of realizing how life has changed us, and how time has slipped past. She's one of the few school friends who went into the career she had identified at school and stayed with it for over 30 years. I do admire them for that. Knowing what interested them as teens and building their professional lives accordingly. It's really impressive. I thought about the women who were in class together. I realized that I really don't know where many of them are or what they do. Of the ones with whom I stayed in touch, many wound up in areas that weren't related to what we studied on what we had considered in school-or even at university.  If I'm brutally honest, most days I'd prefer to be at work, dealing with office issues instead of being at home, dealing with torn tendons! 

Once again, I looked at myself in the mirror and I despair of ever standing up straight again. But I was reminded today that I've improved in the last 2 weeks, and that I'm moving more easily. That, of course, has no bearing on why I overdid things, nor why I pushed through levels of pain to do things that could definitely have waited another week or so.  No need for the lectures; I know what I did wrong and I know why.  I promise that I will listen to my body and rest more regularly.

I'm being surveilled from the sofa. The little monitoring system is trying to decide whether I'm going to do anything useful-like snack, or go to bed or clear my lap so he can jump up-or not. It’s flattering to be the object of such scrutiny, but it's also unsettling to consider that I'm so predictable that my dog has worked our when he should pay attention to me or not. LOL

I had a long, meaningful, insightful post that I had intended for tonight, but it will have to wait because it is-if I say so- deep and meaningful and needs more attention than a painful back will allow. Consider that I have this lovely post coming. You'll enjoy it so much. and have so many comments and insights that I'll be forgiven my stupid stubbornness. At least, that's my delusion and I'm sticking to it!  Good night!

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