fides qua creditur
You know that my religious and spiritual beliefs are very central to my self. I have a strong, but quiet, faith all of my life. Anyone who has known me as I grew up also knows that I've been a practicing Catholic as long as I've known myself. My grandmother would pray her rosary every night before bed, a habit that I inherited along with her chaplet (which I also use nightly) Her father, my great-grandfather, converted from Islam to Catholicism at the time of his marriage to my great-grandmother, and by all accounts, he was an irreverent adherent. I’m not inclined to proselytize or attempt to convert people, and although I have attended a few loud prayer meetings, they are not my style.
My beliefs were questioned because my actions didn't match what others expected. I've been asked about this at different stages: as a teen, in youth group, etc. People questioned my interest in other faiths -as if it were unseemly to want to know more about what others believe, and how it differed from what I'd been taught. In a different era, I’d As much as I enjoyed being at Liturgy School, for instance, my fascination was more with catechesis-teaching and understanding the faith-as opposed to indoctrination.
For me, blindly repeating and following a set of lines made no sense. And having arguments- as entertaining as they were-with Jehovah's Witnesses or other groups were ultimately unsatisfactory. I never learned more than the first 3 or 4 questions from Penny Catechism, because I had more questions than the 150 that I was expected to learn (and those weren’t the questions that interested me anyway!). I had no interest in learning about other Christian faiths- what was so fascinating about Presbyterianism or Lutheranism! So I began-somewhere in the middle of my confirmation classes, aged 15 or so - to explore other religions. I opted for as non-Christian as I could find, leading me to to explore Buddhism and Hinduism, both of which were attractive to me. Buddhism appealed because of its intellectual mysticism (my words) The concepts of reincarnation and Karma made sense. It seemed that one lifetime was insufficient to accomplish much, and it appeared logical to get to try again. Besides, having the opportunity to "fix" mistakes was a benefit-and it certainly provided an.explanation for the question of suffering. Not a good one, but it's better than just, "it's God's will."
Hinduism provided a different view of the universe, where the manifestation of the avatars provided an insight at the interconnectedness of the universe. Dualism was a major eye- opener for me. understanding that light and dark need each other to exist; that they aren't separate concepts is huge. Taoism, Shinto and a couple other Eastern religious philosophies were endlessly fascinating, but I kept circling back to Buddha and to Hinduism.
I was fortunate to have had access to several open-minded seminarians, priests and religious who let me explore these concepts without judgement. It was the 1980's, which makes a difference, I think. This was all prior to the avalanche of sex scandals that have been so prevalent in the last 30 + years. Our seminarians and priests were open to being questioned and challenged, and they welcomed debates. Plus, they were actively working with us to show us how to be engaged and active Catholic adults. They accompanied us into doing "works of charity" I spent many weekends where we volunteered with some desperately poor, sick senior citizens, helping to feed and clean them. We worked with some developmentally delayed adults- in a time when they were often institutionalized, and helped with prayers. My own priority was working with the deaf community, where I would do sign-language interpretation at man and for retreat and prayer groups. For me, therefore my faith had a heavily practical element- . "whatsoever you do 5 the least of my brethren.. " was a practical endorsement.
The other form of expression of my beliefs was through passion plays where we re-enacted the Crucifixion and certain Gospels in Lent. We spent a lot of time examining the Gospels of John 4; John 9 and John 11. These gave us the chance to explore some of the key tenets of Christianity and then link to instruction of the faithful. Our dramatization of the Crucifixion was something that was powerful for several groups of teens. We poured all of our efforts into preparing for it for a week of our Easter holidays to get ready for Good Friday to begin at 9:00am, going until almost noon. It was, and remains, some 30 years later, a powerful device for teaching.
Applying the "practical" aspects of my faith-and excl uded - has had a tasting effect on me.
A priest friend of mine once explained that our imagery of God as a loving parent speaks to a deep level of exclusionary privilege. Because, sadly, for far too many people the concept of . a loving parent is alien. So it's up to us to show what it means to be loving, and to show our fellow humans how to be kind.
Nature is cruel and bloody; people (left to their own devices) are often evil, petty and brutal. to loving kindness is proof of God, and must be shown by and to each other so we can understand the idea of a loving God. Bizarre, no?
I'd have to agree that the time I spent working with people who needed me helped me to better appreciate the work of a Christian. For me therefore, the, basis for my religious belief is practical.. As a result, I think, my beliefs tend to be a bit more elastic and liberal than the average. I don't think it's necessary for all of us to have the same set of beliefs in order for us to be in harmony. I think that we can coexist and build a kind society that way. That’s all for now; we’ll continue another time.
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