Docendo Disco, Scribendo Cogito

Seven years ago today I woke up from an induced coma 5 full days after my major surgery. As I've said, I count this as an extra birthday, and it's a celebration. So I had, not cake, but a custard-filled chocolate croissant from a Portuguese bakery. Absolutely  delicious! I had it with a cup of tea. I'll definitely keep that bakery in my directory!.

It was a busy day also, with my physiotherapist; my PSW, conversations with my oncologist and a surprise drop off of supper.  I'm cautiously optimistic that my new pain meds are working, as I'm not in a lot of pain although it's been hot and humid. It's a win. 

I need to switch a bit. My atheist friends can skip the rest. Consider yourself provided with a "trigger warning.”  

To me, it is obvious that my continued presence is entirely by divine inspiration. I don’t  know for what purpose I'm here, nor do I know what benefit I bring. I do know that I am happier and more serene than I’ve been in the last 9 years, since my first surgery. I find it easier to pray, and I am more thankful for each day than I ever was.  No, I don’t think that this happened to me to get me to be more religious or spiritual, but I think that I’ve used it as an opportunity.  I still get angry, and I am still very passionate about many things, but I'm less inclined to blow up or get into arguments. That's good, on balance, isn't it? Saving my temper for the important thing? I think that my family will agree that I've calmed down too, and that it's beneficial.

Since I was a teenager I've been fascinated by religious belief. Back in confirmation class, I remember having a conversation with one of the seminarians where I said that all religions are equal, so there's no point to saying that one is better than another. His response was that if they are all equal, then the choice  of one over others was just a decision as to which form I wanted to follow. For myself, I've found that I tend towards Catholicism that's shaded by tenets from Hinduism and Buddhism.

What does that mean, exactly? Well, I've never fully codified all my thoughts on this- I'm not certain of a personal saviour. I do believe in God, who is the driving force in the Universe. God works through us to accomplish things. I know that the Bible-both Old and New Testaments- contains a number of beautiful truths, but it's been translated so many times, with so many motivations, that it's almost impossible to understand what the original intent was. So I restarted following a few practices that I've found helpful. One is LECTIO DIVINA, which allows meditation on a given passage and can provide insights that can be helpful. The other is the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, which guides you through a number of questions. I find these both help me to find wisdom in many readings. Then I added in readings from the Gita, which I found to be full of understanding, and there were often overlaps. Most of all, though I tend to use the precept of "Do not take yourself too seriously." I found that to be the most useful of all!

I'd found this 17th century nun's prayer as a card in a souvenir store many years ago, and I always liked it. I thought I'd share its sentiments with you.-

Seventeenth Century Nun’s Prayer

Lord, thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and will some day be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom it seems a pity not to use it all, but Thou knowest Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of other’s pains, but help me to endure them with patience. I dare not ask for improved memory, but for a growing humility and a lessening cocksureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint-some of them are so hard to live with-but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the Devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.

Amen.

Good night!  Celebrations continue for at least another week, so I'll keep you updated!