ad multos annos

I had a late start today. I woke up very late, and it was a bit rough. My sleep was interrupted, but it was one of those mornings. I was a bit sluggish, to say the least. It's one of these mornings! I had several waves of nausea, and had to take a couple of my anti-emetics. Not fun. I had Jerry napping on me for a lot of the afternoon-he just makes himself very comfy and kicks me with his little jackrabbit kicks. He's right now "attacking" Don, playing tug o' war with him! He's pretend growling and nibbling on his sleeve. Being a very silly little dog. He already tried (and failed) to mooch any of my dinner bao, so he transferred his attention to Don to persuade him to share his meal.

Today marks 9 years since my first surgery. It's 9 years of living without my left kidney-and a 30-lb tumour. I'm glad that's gone, although I'd prefer to have kept my kidney. obviously. I remember so many details of that day, it's almost unreal. I can recall my thoughts at different times, and my feelings like I'm living through the moment. I can reconstruct the time I was awake-from when I awoke at 5:00 am, to when I got to the hospital at 6:00, and the pre-surgical discussion with Professor Naryansingh -all of it. I remember waking up in the ward, and begging the nurse for water on ice chips to relieve my dry throat. (I woke this morning with a dry mouth, incidentally.) I try to shut off the replay, but with limited success -it's like watching a movie without a remote. I remember that my mother and aunt were in the room briefly-I wasn't awake long- and the flowers from our garden that they brought. So many flashes of memory.

I'm happy to be here, and to have survived that-and all the subsequent-ordeals. In the last 9 years, I remember things like having a great celebratory brunch with a group of friends when I got to 5 years. I saw an oncologist in Trinidad who, unfortunately, didn't fill me with confidence, unlike the one I have here at the Cancer Centre. He just handed me a stack of printouts from the Internet-which I had already researched myself. When I first met Dr. Nicholas, he was calm, reassuring and personable, so I felt that things would be ok. My family doctor in Trinidad, Dr Akal, gives me the same feeling. Dr. Nicholas explained, on that first visit, that my prognosis was good. with my type of cancer, the survival rate after surgery, was over 80% after 10 years, and that I could expect to be in remission after 5. It didn't work out like that, but I'm still optimistic about celebrating 20 years. I had hoped to hold a celebration for surviving the 2014 surgery-when most of my innards were removed- but the pandemic interfered. I'll do something next year, to mark the decade!

Meanwhile I'll overcome my post-traumatic stress syndrome, and not let it overwhelm me, as it threatens to do! Cake is required, so I'll take care of that this week- I've got a craving, which nausea will not be allowed to destroy! I encourage you all to celebrate with me! Good night!